I re-read last year’s resolution post as I tried to make sense of 2007. Instead of feeling discouraged, as I usually do when I think about the resolutions of the past, I was incredibly encouraged. I have made some amazing changes, and I think the most encouraging part was that they did not seem so amazing at the time. (That means that even the smallest habit can turn in to an amazing change.) Last year I was flirting with the idea of getting up at 6:00 AM to have some time to myself and work out. I tried it and found that six was not nearly early enough - Andrew almost always woke up within 15-20 minutes of my getting up and my morning time was shot - so I pushed the time back, to 5:30, but then the weather got nice and I needed time to run before Justin went to work, so it became 5:00, and then I wanted to go to the gym, so it became 4:30. And now I wake up a few minutes before my alarm goes off, groggy, but ready to go. I am dreading the week that Justin will be out of town and I will not be able to get up and go to the gym everyday.

Getting up early has become a habit, so it is no longer a big deal. As I was in the process of planning to get up early, I dreaded the change. I knew that I would never be able to do it. I knew that I would be tired all day and that the changes in schedule that must be made to accommodate the earlier rise would be too hard. I had written it off before I even started.

How many things do I write off as failures before I even start them?

I may have mentioned - a few hundred times - that I struggle to set attainable goals. I view success in terms of attained perfection, and when I fail to attain perfection I say “Fuck It!” and stop trying all together. Any perceived outcome that was less than perfection gave me the perfect excuse to not even try. It seems ridiculous - it is ridiculous - but it is such a habit that I had to have someone else point it out to me before I even realized I was doing it.

I talked last year about aims, general directions that I wanted my life to head. I still love that terminology, as it allows for bends in the road and successes that are a far cry from perfection. My aim last year was to do things that make me happy - not in a hedonistic way, or a gold star on the chart way, but in a meet my own eyes in the mirror every morning way. I can say, without reservation, that I meet my own eyes in the mirror everyday with a lot more confidence than I did last year, so I am going to count that as a success and continue the practice. I want to add to it though, I want to remember what I am proud of myself for. To accomplish this, I am dusting off my inner-nerd and creating some ridiculous excel sheets to track my progress in areas that I strive to improve. This includes food and exercise, of course, which are easy to track and quantify (and which you will probably hear more than you want to know about), as well as some more nebulous goals - like interrupting the endless flow of novels to read something in the non-fiction genre, or keeping my practice of quiet time, study and prayer going on the weekends. The trick here is in the perception, I am only two days in and my food column has marks in it showing that I went over my goal. My aim for this year is to see those marks in the context of the bigger picture. I need the data. The data is just a tool. It is neither judge nor jury. Without accurate data, I cannot get a clear picture of what I need to do or where I am succeeding.

As far as specific goals go, I am not going to list them all right now. Too often have I listed the top 50 things I want to change and then, failing to change all of them, counted myself as an unmitigated disaster. This year I am downsizing. I will mention a goal here and there throughout the year and then work on it until it becomes a habit. Since habits take almost a month to form, I will move slowly from one to another, trusting that even the smallest habits can lead to an amazing change.

My first two goals are fairly straightforward - Staying within my food limits for at least 4 days each week (and not going crazy the other days) and entering the data on my record sheet every day so that I will be able to accurately gauge my progress.

For more New Year’s inspiration, check out a few of the recent posts at The Everyday Athlete (this one and this other one rocked my world).