Oh how I love lists!
Until I was an adult I loved being an only child
I am beginning to realize that I might have missed something not having siblings
My parents didn’t intend for me to be an only child
I swore I would never turn in to my mother
I am my mother
Minus a few quirks
Plus a few other quirks
Justin and I got married in the summer of 2000
I was 20 years old
We were in our junior years of college
We spent our first year of marriage buried in our respective computers, finishing our degrees
I would have done better in math or science if he had done my homework for me
I lived in the same house my whole life
My parents still live there
Justin moved a lot as a child
This leads to some arguments about selling our house
I will prevail in these arguments
I love our house
We fight about little things
Sometimes I wonder if Andrew will be an only child
I wonder if it is unfair to do that to him, knowing what I know
Or will his perception be different than mine?
These sorts of “what ifs” keep me up at night
I wish there was a manual for parenting
I am starting to believe that one doesn’t exist
I am still looking for it
I suffer the delusion that there is one right way to do most everything
This leads me to beat myself up because I have done something “wrong”
I am learning that life is not so black and white
It’s hard to learn those sorts of big lessons
I wish there was a manual for life
I know, I know… there is no bloody manual
Sometimes I let The Crazy out of my brain
Then things get messy
I am learning that sometimes things have to get messy before they can get clean
Kind of like cleaning a closet
I started this blog with a specific purpose
To clean out the closet
It kind of morphed in to a picture book of Andrew
I put in a couple of deep thoughts for good measure
This bothered me because I thought I wasn’t doing it right
But it’s my blog, so I am trying not to think about it and let it be what it is
I think that letting things be what they are is my most revolutionary act to date
I am a tiny bit of a control freak
Maybe not so tiny
I am a work in progress
I had a hard time adjusting to motherhood
Things didn’t go exactly as I planned
Which didn’t really work for me
When things don’t go as planned I tend to panic
When I am overwhelmed I read the same books over and over again
I have read each of the Harry Potter books more than 10 times
I also watch the same movies over and over
I used to spend hours coloring intricate designs
I would throw them away if I made a mistake
Even if I had spent weeks working on it
I think books and movies are an improvement
I even do the crossword in pencil now
Erasers are becoming my friends
I like to organize things, again and again
Some people think I am a little bit obsessive
I think everyone is a little bit obsessive about something
So I’m not too worried about it
Autumn is my favorite season
Fires and spices and dark beers and warm socks please me
But I like every season at the beginning
The changing of the seasons is one of the only changes that I look forward to
All the other changes in life scare me
Did I mention how much I love lists?
I think concerts are fun
However, this year I found out I was too old to see Dave Matthews at the Gorge
Not chronologically too old, but too old in spirit
I like concerts better on DVD
It made me sad
I enjoy tree climbing and jumping on trampolines
I cannot turn a cartwheel
I played organized softball for the first time this year
I think of my grandma every time I hear a bat connect with a ball
I am a Christian
I am a Democrat
I do not think that the two need be mutually exclusive (though some will tell you otherwise)
I believe that Christians get too worked up about things that do not matter
I believe that if Christians spent as much time loving people as they did complaining or protesting the world would be a much different place
I think a lot of Christians forget that they are also sinners
Some people don’t like to hear that
I try to say it whenever I can
I lose track of time when reading, gardening or playing the piano
I am highly critical of myself and others
My hypocrisy knows no bounds
I love to fall asleep with a baseball game on the radio
I get most of my news from Jon Stewart and ESPN
Sometimes I wonder if I am well-informed enough to have opinions on anything
That doesn’t stop me
Megan remarks on October 5th, 2006 at 3:14 pm
Sometimes it freaks me out how alike we seem to be in personality (well - *I* know we are, did you know?), yet we’ve never discussed it.
Cherie remarks on October 11th, 2006 at 10:35 pm
you play the piano? when will this crazy kindred spirit thing end with me and your family? this was a wonderful progression of thoughts…i loved it!